PAUSE
As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly to recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God.

(pause)
I pray Psalm 5: 1-2, repeating the words slowly, several times:
“Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament. Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. “

REFLECT
Bible: Today’s reading is an ancient prayer of lament from Psalm 89: 46-49:

“How long, Lord? Will you hide yourself forever? How long will your wrath burn like fire? Remember how fleeting is my life. For what futility you have created all humanity! Who can live and not see death, or who can escape the power of the grave? Lord, where is your former great love, which in your faithfulness you swore to David?”

Comment and book passage:

Struggle and travail are important expressions of biblical spirituality. Lamenting is more than a technique for venting emotion. It is one of the fruits of a deepening spiritual life that has learned to stand naked before God without shame or pretense … Honest lament can express a vibrant faith; one that has learned to embrace life’s hardships as well as its joy, and to lift everything-everything– to the Father in prayer. (p.65)

ASK
Ask myself: It’s natural to ask God to help, heal, or intervene when things go wrong. It’s entirely understandable that my instinct when confronted with difficulties is to ask God to make them go away. But more than half the Psalms model something different, inviting me to lift laments to the Lord from the midst of the mess of my unresolved pain.

Ask the Lord: I take time now to express my sadness to the Lord, giving voice to the disappointment, frustration, and fear that I may rarely dare admit, even to myself.

YIELD
“Fix Me, Jesus,” an African American spiritual:

Oh yes, fix me, Jesus, fix me.
Fix me so that I can walk on a little while longer.
Fix me so that I can pray on just a little bit harder.
Fix me so that I can sing on just a little bit louder.
Fix me so that I can go on despite the pain, the fear, the doubt, and yes, the anger.
I ask not that you take this cross from me, only that you give me the strength to continue carrying it onward ’til my dying day.
Oh, fix me, Jesus, fix me.

Amen

The post Day 12 appeared first on BNC.

PAUSE
As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly to recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God.

(pause)
I pray Psalm 16: 1-2, repeating the words slowly, several times: “Keep me safe, 0 God, I’ve run for dear life to you. I say to God, ‘Be my Lord!’ Without you, nothing makes sense” (MSG).

REFLECT
Bible: How happy are those who know what sorrow means for they will be given courage and comfort! (Matt. 5: 4 PHILLIPS)

Book passage: Sammy and I would not want to go back, of course, to the dark days of brain surgery. But neither would we want to go back to the days before our lives were hijacked by fear. I guess we prefer the people we have become through all these contradictions.

ASK
Ask myself: Can I see any positive ways in which the Holy Spirit might be using my sorrow for good? Are there any signs of Him changing me in some way through these difficult times?

Ask the Lord: Father, if You were to hand me a big rd switch to solve my problems and heal my pain, I’d flick it without hesitation. But in the absence of that switch, please at least make something good out of this mess. Don’t let this ugly situation make me ugly. Give me “beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair” (Isa. 61:3).

YIELD
Our yielding prayer over the next few days is going to be the prayer of Jesus in Gethsemane, which we studied at the start of this devotional. But before praying these famous words, I clench my fists, holding in my left hand my greatest desire (the miracle I need God to do) and in my right hand my deepest dread:

“Abba, Father … everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me.” (Mark 14:36a)

I open my left hand to offer God my deepest desire and to ask for a miracle.

“Yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)

I open my right hand and, naming my deepest dread, I make the difficult decision to relinquish control.

Amen.

The post Day 14 appeared first on BNC.

PAUSE
As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly to recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God.

(pause)
I pray Psalm 91: 2-3, repeating the words slowly, several times:
“God, you’re my refuge. I trust in you and I’m safe! … You rescue me from hidden traps, shield me from deadly hazards. Your huge outstretched arms protect me – under them I’m perfectly safe; your arms fend off all harm.” (MSG, paraphrased and personalized)

REFLECT
Bible: Rejoice always, pray continually, 1 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thess. 5: 16-18, emphasis added)

Book passage: Praying about the tiny things of our lives opens our eyes to the hidden myriad of God’s daily blessings, which then enables us to live with grater gratitude. People who don’t pray for stupid things such as parking spaces only get to thank God when sensible things happen – which means that they live less grateful lives!

ASK
Ask myself: Even against the backdrop of big prayers that have gone unanswered, God’s will for me in Christ Jesus is still that I would “pray continually” and “give thanks in all circumstances.” How do I do this? How do I prevent disappointment from destroying my joy? How do I stop unanswered prayer from blinding me to the other prayers God has answered?

Ask the Lord: Keep my heart soft and my eyes open to recognize what You are doing all around me, Lord. I give You thanks now for the signs I see of Your goodness – however small – in my life today.

YIELD
Naming my greatest desire and my deepest dread before the Lord, I clench them in my fists now as I join with Jesus in His ultimate prayer of surrender:

“Abba, Father … everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me.” (Mark 14:36a)

I open my left hand to offer God my deepest desire and to ask for a miracle.

“Yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)

I open my right hand and, naming my deepest dread, I make the difficult decision to relinquish control.

Amen.

The post Day 15 appeared first on BNC.

PAUSE
As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly to recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God.

(pause)
I pray Psalm 119: 76-77, repeating the words slowly, several times:
“May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight.”

REFLECT
Bible: You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! (Ps. 139: 13-17)

Book passage: I quote C. S. Lewis saying something we may not want to hear: “That God can and does, on occasions, modify the behavior of matter and produce what we call miracles is part of Christian faith; but the very conception of a common, and therefore stable, world demands that these occasions should be extremely rare.”* (p.96)
*C. S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain (New York: Harper Collins, 2001), 25

ASK
Ask myself: Does this assertion that miracles have to be “extremely rate” match up with my experience? Does it echo what I’ve been taught? Does it help me find a little more peace with my situation? Ask the Lord: I take time now to marvel at the infinite complexity and intricate beauty of the world around me, giving thanks especially for the harmony of creation.

YIELD
A prayer of wonder and humility from Psalm 8: 1, 3-4

“Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens … When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?”
Amen

The post Day 16 appeared first on BNC.

PAUSE
As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly to recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God.

(pause)
I pray Psalm 18: 28-29, repeating the words slowly, several times:
“You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.”

REFLECT
Book passage: Perhaps we should accept what older people and poorer people and many of those with disabilities already know: things are probably going to be very difficult today and just as hard tomorrow. Maybe by adjusting our expectations we can reduce the sense of disappointment, isolation, and unfairness riding on the back of unanswered prayer. With a business-as-usual approach to life’s trials, the good times can becoming surprising and delightful It will be our blessings more than our sufferings that provoke us to ask God, “Why?” (p.100)

Bible: In John 16:33, Jesus promises His disciples both trouble and peace: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

ASK
Ask myself: Which do I find more surprising: life’s trials or its blessings? If I’d been born at a different time in history or in a different part of the world how might I relate differently to the difficulties I face?

Ask the Lord: I give thanks to the Lord now for the “common grace” of the world’s essential goodness, and the particular signs of His kindness towards me today.

YIELD
Naming my greatest desire and my deepest dread before the Lord one last time, I join with Jesus in His ultimate prayer of surrender in Gethsemane:

“Abba, Father … everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me.” (Mark 14:36a)

I ask for a miracle.

“Yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)

I relinquish control.

Amen.

The post Day 17 appeared first on BNC.

PAUSE
As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly to recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God.

(pause)
I pray Psalm 19: 14, repeating the words slowly, several times:
“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

REFLECT
Bible: When Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego were commanded to worship an idol on pain of death, they replied:

“King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” (Dan. 3:16-18)

Book passage: The paradox of faith is encapsulated in this rousing speech. [Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego] believe unequivocally that God can save them, and that He will save them. But then they add “even if he does not .. we will not serve your gods”. These men have complete faith for a miracle but they also have a sort of bloody-minded defiance should the miracle no happen. (p.103)

ASK
Ask myself: If I could look into the future and see that my most desperate prayers are not going to be answered, how might it affect the choices I am making now?

Ask the Lord: Mostly, I do believe that You are able to save me, Lord. I do have faith. But give me faithfulness too, to keep trusting and worshiping defiantly even if my prayers go unanswered.

YIELD
A prayer of surrender by Richard Foster:

Today, 0 Lord, I yield myself to You. May Your will be my delight today. May You have perfect sway in me. May your love be the pattern of my living. I surrender to You my hopes, my dreams, my ambitions. Do with them what You will, when You will, as You will. I place into Your loving care my family, my friends, my future. Care for them with a care that I can never give. I release into Your hands my need to control, my craving for status, my fear of obscurity. Eradicate the evil, purify the good, and establish Your kingdom on earth. For Jesus’ sake, Amen.

The post Day 18 appeared first on BNC.

PAUSE
As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly to recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God.

(pause)
I pray Psalm 22: 10-11, repeating the words slowly, several times:
“From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God. Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help.”

REFLECT
Bible: “Where, 0 death, is your victory? Where, 0 death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. (1 Cor. 15:55-58)

Book passage: “This is not the worst thing to ever happen!” wrote my friend Margaret Lee as she lay dying of cancer. “Cancer is so limited. It cannot cripple love, shatter hope, corrode faith, eat away peace, destroy confidence, kill friendship, shut out memories, silence courage, quench the Spirit, or lessen the power of Jesus.” (p. 107)

ASK
Ask myself: As Christians, we believe in life after death, but also life before death, and even line in the midst of death (as we see in saints like Margaret Lee). What might the resurrection power of Jesus look like in the midst ofmy struggle today? Ask the Lord: Lord, fill me afresh with Your Holy Spirit. Let my life be marked by defiant love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control

YIELD
The well-loved hymn of surrender, “All to Jesus I surrender,” by Judson W. Van De Venter:

All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him In His presence daily live
I surrender all, I surrender all All to Thee, my blessed Savior I surrender all
Amen.

The post Day 19 appeared first on BNC.

PAUSE
As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly to recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God.

(pause)
I pray Psalm 23: 1-3, repeating the words slowly, several times:
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul.”

REFLECT
Bible: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isa. 55: 8-9)

Book passage: Sometimes God denies my prayers because He has something even better for me. I breathe an easy amen to God’s promise through Jeremiah: “I know the plans I have for you … plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jer. 29:11). My heart rises to pray with Thomas s Kempis: “O Lord you know what is best for me. Give what you will, how much you will and when you will.” (p. 114)

ASK
Ask myself: Billy Graham’s wife Ruth said that “God has not always answered my prayers. If He had, I would have married the wrong man several times!” (p. 226)

Ask the Lord: Is it possible that the reason for my unanswered prayer is that God has a “higher way”? If so, I ask Him now to help me trust His alternative Plan, even if every fiber of my being wants something completely different.

YIELD
Reflection of an unknown soldier from the American Civil War:

I asked for strength that I might achieve;
He made me weak that I might obey.
I asked for health that I might do greater things;
I was given grace that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men; I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was give life that I might enjoy all things.
I received nothing that I asked for, all that I hoped for. My prayer was answered, I was most blessed.

Amen

The post Day 20 appeared first on BNC.

PAUSE
As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly to recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God.

(pause)
I pray Psalm 38: 9-10, repeating the words slowly, several times:
“All my longings ie open before you, Lord: my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes.”

REFLECT
Bible: From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help, and you listened to my cry.” (Jon. 2: 1-2)

Book passage: “Afflictions quicken us to prayer,” observed John Newton, the former slave-ship captain best know for writing the hymn “Amazing Grace.” “Experience testifies that a long course of ease and prosperity, without painful changes, has an unhappy tendency to make us cold and formal in our secret worship; but troubles rouse our spirits, and constrain us to call upon the Lord in good earnest, when we feel a need of that help which we only can have from him.”* (p. 119)
*John Newton, Letters of John Newton (Edinburgh: Banner of Truth, 1960), n.p.

ASK
Ask myself: Is it true that “troubles rouse our spirits” and “afflictions quicken us to prayer”?

Ask the Lord: Like Jonah crying out to God from the Belly of the beast, I rouse myself again today to call out to You Lord from the darkness of my impossible predicament.

YIELD
A prayer of the eighteenth century soldier, explorer, and monk, Charles de Foucauld:

Father, I abandon myself into Your hands; do with me what You will. Whatever You may do, I thank You: I am ready for all, I accept all. Let only Your will be done in me, and in all Your creatures – I wish no more than this, 0 Lord.
Amen

The post Day 21 appeared first on BNC.

PAUSE
As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly to recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God.

(pause)
I pray Psalm 25: 16-17, repeating the words slowly, several times:
“Tum to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.”

REFLECT
Bible: As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a female slave look to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till he shows us his mercy. (Ps. 123: 2)

Book passage: Why does God speak clearly about peripherals but remain silent on the issue with which we most need His help? My answer-call it a hunch-is that sometimes God is enjoying the way we are wrestling with Him in prayer through this process. To put it another way, He may consider our wondering and questioning more important than the relatively simple act of supplying us with an answer. Whatever the reason, I can’t begin to tell you how frustrating this is? .. Sammy and I are praying harder, we are searching our souls more diligently, and we are tuning our ears to the slightest whisper from heaven in a way we would not normally do. In short, we are drawing nearer to God precisely because of our unanswered prayer. (p.118)

ASK
Ask myself: Do I ever experience God “changing the conversation” when I am being vulnerable with Him in prayer or asking Him for help?

Ask the Lord: Instead of asking the Lord to do something for me today, I wonder if there is anything He is asking me to do for Him today?

YIELD
A prayer of surrender by Richard Foster:

Today, 0 Lord, I yield myself to You. May Your will be my delight today. May You have perfect sway in me. May your love be the pattern of my living. I surrender to You my hopes, my dreams, my ambitions. Do with them what You will, when You will, as You will. I place into Your loving care my family, my friends, my future. Care for them with a care that I can never give. I release into Your hands my need to control, my craving for status, my fear of obscurity. Eradicate the evil, purify the good, and establish Your kingdom on earth. For Jesus’ sake, Amen.

Amen.

The post Day 22 appeared first on BNC.