Day 1: Dust to Dust (Chapter 2) Ash Wednesday

PAUSE
As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly, to recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God.

(pause)
I pray Psalm 103: 13-14, repeating the words slowly, several times:
“The Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.”

REFLECT
Bible: Matt. 4:1-4)
Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”‘

Book passage: I prayed like I’d never prayed before, helplessly convinced that I was watching my wife die. I begged God to make the convulsions stop so that she could at least draw breath. I prayed in the name of Jesus. I tried to have faith. I invoked the power of His blood. I rebuked and renounced everything I could think of rebuking and renouncing. This was not prayer for a parking space or a sunny day. This seemed to me to be a matter of life and death. Sammy was turning blue, and bloodied spittle was blotting the pillow. The ambulance was taking forever. My prayers weren’t working. (p.19)

ASK
Ask myself: Your wilderness won’t look like mine, but notice that it is the Holy Spirit who leads Jesus “into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil” (Matt. 4:1). This isn’t the sort of thing we expect the Holy Spirit to do. Isn’t He supposed to protect us from satanic onslaughts, not lead us into them? As I think about my own wilderness, could it be the Holy Spirit who has led me here into this dry and difficult place? And if so, why?

Ask the Lord: I am generally hungrier for physical food than the spiritual variety. Admitting this to the Lord now, I ask Him to radically increase my desire for “every word that come from the mouth of God” over these next forty days.

YIELD
Finally, as I embark upon this journey into the desert, I get my heart right with the words of Psalm
51:1-3, 10-12, traditionally prayed around the world on Ash Wednesday:

Have mercy on me, 0 god, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me … Create in me a pure heart, 0 God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Amen.